The last few weeks of August I had several conversations with a group of ladies about the importance of having a lunch date (sometimes, even a lunch date + picnic, sometimes a lunch date and some drinks). We are all wives and mothers and daughters or wives and mothers and daughters and we share a common goal: to be more self-aware.
I personally find it a bit odd that there seems to be so many women that find it “cute” to ask for a lunch date with their husbands. I suspect that many of them are wives and mothers who do not have the self-awareness to ask for it themselves. I hope that by sharing our stories, we are able to help these wives and mothers realize the value of having a date or lunch with their husbands.
In any case, there are a few things I would like to point out. First, for the most part, we are all ladies (or in this case mens) who have a great deal of self-awareness. Second, I think it is important to note that when we ask for dates, it is not necessarily because we have a hard time getting dates. Often times, we do not even know what we are asking for.
Again, these are ladies who are aware of themselves and of the value of having a date with their husbands. So in this case, it is not because they do not want a date, but because they are aware of the value and meaning behind the question.
Just because we can’t find a date doesn’t mean we don’t want one. We do want to be aware of our own feelings and the fact that dating doesn’t always come easily. But I think it’s also important to not expect your date to be perfect. Just because you ask her for a date does not mean she has to be perfect. We just want to know that she is honest, caring, and a pleasure to be around.
Men may not always be aware that they are dating, and just because they don’t have a woman to date doesn’t mean they are not a little jealous/haughty/whatever.
I think many guys still feel that their date is the one they need to be the most available to and to be a little bit perfect in bed. That might be a fair argument, but I think a real woman can have a lot of fun with just being there. You can have fun with your date like a girl at a strip club. But there’s more to it than that.
So a lot of guys are probably still feeling that there is something special or maybe even “special” about their date. This is probably still pretty natural to them. They want to impress their date with their skills and their talents. And the way that women are so used to doing this is through a lot of subtle and not so subtle hints.
The first is the way women have been conditioned to just be there. Like if you’re at a strip club and you’re sitting there wondering what to do, and you see your date getting up and doing it for you, your instincts probably tell you to say something like “I think I could use some help out here!” or “I just feel really bad. I don’t know what to do here.
You can say something like, “I think I could use some help right now,” and it’s actually a pretty good way of putting it.
